Esther 5:3

Then the king asked, "What is it, Queen Esther?  What is your request?  Even up to half the kingdom, it will be given you."

While we most likely will never be in a situation like Esther's, there may be times when we need to confromt our husbands on something - whether it's an unwise choice he's making or perhaps an ongoing sin in his life.  We can follow Esther's example on how to best do this.  Here are some things I noticed that Esther did.

1) She gave the matter careful consideration (4:11).  Esther did not speak first and think later.  She considered her options and weighed the pros and cons.

2) She listened to wise counsel (4:13-14).  Mordecai advised Esther on what she should do.  Remember that it is never prudent to share personal matters with everybody.  However, it is often wise to seek out one or two trusted, mature Christian friends for advice.

3) She fasted and prayed, and asked others to do so as well (4:16).  As we discussed yesterday, God has blessed us with other believers who can join us in prayer.  Again, be prudent about whom you are sharing things with, and remember that not all details need to be divulged when asking for prayer support.

4) She determined to do what was right, regardless of personal cost (4:17).  James 1:5 assures us that God will grant you wisdom if you ask.  He will show you the path to take.

5) She waited for the right time and place (5:8)*

6) She treated her husband with respect (7:3).  Regardless of your husband's actions and attitudes, he is your husband and should always have your respect.

7) She spoke with humility (7:4).  Esther did not accuse.  She did not make herself out to be better than her husband.  And she did not ask for more than was reasonable or necessary.

8) She persisted (8:3).  Esther knew she was right and did not back down.  She also did not nag, yell, or accuse.

9) She spoke with wisdom (8:5).  Esther not only addressed the problem; she proposed a soluton. 

10) She showed concern for others (8:6).  Esther did not focus on herself.  Her concern was for how her husband's actions would affect other people.

11) She followed through (9:29-32).  Esther did not leave her husband to fix the problem on his own.  She saw it through to the end.

*My husband would like me to add that Esther knew that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach (5:4).  Making his favorite dinner or dessert is always a good idea :)