Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Matthew 1:19

Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

This marriage lesson comes from a husband, not a wife, but it's still very applicable to women.  Mary was pregnant, and all Joseph knew for sure was that he was not the father.  I can't imagine the struggle he must have gone through, but it's easy to understand why he had trouble believing her.  After all, her story was literally out of this world.  And so his decision to end their relationship is understandable.  What's notable, though, is what he didn't do.

Joseph refused to make a public spectacle of Mary.  He could have.  By law he could have even had her stoned.  But he chose to keep their private matters private and not cause her further embarassment.

Do we do that?  When our husbands do something wrong, or foolish, or annoying, do we keep quiet about it or do we make it a public issue?  Do we call up our mothers and say "He did it again!"  Do we get together for coffee with a friend and air all of our marital grievances?  Do we post his embarassing moment on Facebook because "it's so funny!"

Before doing any of those things, think about it.  Is it honoring to our husbands?  Is this a story or complaint that needs to be shared?  How would we feel if our husbands talked to their friends about a similar situation? 

Let's follow Joseph's lead and keep such matters to ourselves.  If it is something that needs to be discussed (a serious marital problem or sin issue), choose your confidant carefully, and make sure you're telling them for the right reasons.  Ask for permission before sharing stories.  Our husbands should be honored, respected, and valued.

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