Bless All the Dear Children

The recent tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut has touched the hearts of many.  I see the faces of the young victims and cry for the innocence lost.  Regardless of political affiliation, religion, race, we all mourn with the families and hug our own children tighter.

In the past couple of days, though, I've been mindful of the children all over the world who suffer while we go on with our lives.  There are thousands of little ones starving, abused, aborted, sold into the sex trade...but do we shed tears for them?  I suppose it's because while we send our own children to school each day, and thus can relate to the people of Newtown, we don't see our children's faces in those facing other tragedies.

It's time to start.  Jesus said "If anyone causes one of these little ones to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea" (Matthew 18:6).  Children have value and worth to God, and so they should have value and worth to us.

What do we do then?  The aches and pains of this world are too much for us to handle.  We can't do it all.  So start at home.  Is your home a safe place for your children and their friends?  What sort of kids are welcome at your home?  Since the Bible says that iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17), I certainly want my daughters' closest friends to be Christians.  This doesn't mean, however, that I want them to spend time exclusively with Christians.  My girls have friends of different faiths and backgrounds.  We've had children here who've never sat around a table with their family at meal time.  We've had kids spend time playing at our house because they'd be neglected at home.  My daughters know that our couch is open to any young person who needs a place to crash for the night, and our ears are open to anyone who needs somebody to talk to.

From there, branch out.  What's important to you?  Abortion?  Crisis pregnancy centers are always looking for volunteers.  Adoption?  Foster care?  Can you volunteer in the schools or at a shelter?  We all need to start doing all we can to protect our children.

John 4:6b-7, continued

Another thought regarding the women in this Samaritan town - did any of them reach out to befriend this woman? 

This is something I struggle with, as I am very introverted.  It takes a lot for me to attempt small talk (which I'm not good at), and even more for me to try and develop that muddled small talk into something resembling friendship.  As a result, I tend to be stand-offish, which appears judgmental rather than introverted. 

The Bible says, though, that we are to be kind (Ephesians 4:32), hospitable (I Peter 4:9), and compassionate (Colossians 3:12).  We need to reach out and show Christ's love to everyone, especially those who are alone.

John 4:6b-7

...It was about the sixth hour.  When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, "Will you give me a drink?"

Those who understand the culture of the day point out that there's significance to the fact that the Samaritan woman went to the well at the 6th hour.  In today's terms, that would have been about noon.  Noon in Samaria was hot - definitely not the best time to be lugging heavy jars of water.  In fact, most women chose to go early in the morning or in the cool of the evening.  This woman, however, went in the heat of the day.

Why?  Most likely the answer is found in verse 18.  Jesus tells the woman, "You have had five husbans, and the man you now have is not your husband."  The Samaritan woman had a past.  She was living a lifestyle that made her the target of gossip, shunning, and cruel whispers.  Chances are she purposely went to the well when she did in order to avoid the wagging tongues of the other women.

Gossip is cruel, and yet we women fall prey to it so often.  We love to talk, and the juicier the subject matter, the better.  I'm sure some of the women in this Samaritan town justified their words by saying "well, it's true."  True or not, gossip, slander, and rumors have no place among God's people.  Proverbs 20:19 says, "A gossip betrays a confidence, so avoid anyone who talks too much."

Some 15 years ago or so, I realized that I had a serious problem with gossip.  I asked God for help, and what followed were several of the loneliest years of my life.  I intentionally chose to step away from conversations that turned to gossip.  If I heard something about someone, I didn't run to find another person with whom to share the news.  Extreme?  Yes, but for me, that was what I needed to do to avoid the sin.  It's still an area I struggle with from time to time, but I'm doing much better at thinking before I speak. 

Luke 10:41-42

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

This is an important lesson anytime, but I think it's especially important this time of year.  We get so caught up in celebrating Christmas - the tree, the shopping, the cleaning, the baking, the parties, even the church functions - that we neglect to celebrate Christ.

A few years ago I did a study on how the principal characters of the Christmas story celebrated the first Christmas.  They all had the same response to the birth of Christ - worship. 

Mary - "My soul praises the Lord" (Luke 1:46)
The angels - praising God (Luke 2:13)
The shepherds - glorifying and praising God (Luke 2:20)
The wise men - they bowed down and worshiped him (Matthew 2:11)
Simeon - praised God (Luke 2:28)
Anna - gave thanks to God (Luke 2:38)

This should be our response as well - not fretting about getting the Christmas cards out on time or grumbling about mall traffic.  Only one thing is needed - spend time at the foot of your Savior.

Luke 7:12-13

As He approached the town gate, a dead person was being carried out - the only son of his mother, and she was a widow.  And a large crowd from the town was with her.  When the Lord saw her, His heart went out to her and He said, "Don't cry."

"If anyone knows the pain of losing His only Son, it's God." I don't recall in which book I read this quote, but I know it was Max Lucado who said it in regards to this Scripture passage.

God understands.  God knows our pain.  And when we ache, Jesus' heart goes out to us, just as it did for the widow in this story.  We are never without Someone Who counts our every tear and feels every tug on our heart.  He whispers to us with tenderness, "Don't cry."

Luke 2:22

When the time of their purification according to the Law of Moses had been completed, Joseph and Mary took Him to Jerusalem to present Him to the Lord.

Here we have two of the most important things a parent can do for their child:

1) Present Him to the Lord.  Many churches have a way to do this publicly.  By publicly devoting your child to the Lord, you are making a declaration of obedience and commitment.  You are also asking for the support of your church.  The congregation serves as witnesses to the promises parents are making before God.  This should be done privately as well, as the parents lift their child up, repeatedly, to God in prayer.

2) Joseph and Mary do this together.  The spiritual training of our children is not the responsibility of one parent.  This is a wonderful opportunity for a couple to work together, to encourage each other, and to utilize their own strengths in raising and teaching their children. 

Our children belong to God.  He has given us the responsibility to train them up in the way they should go.

Luke 2:19

But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.

What kinds of things are you pondering in your heart?  Is it past hurts and resentments?  Is it guilt or regret?  Is it bitterness or prejudice?  We all have dark thoughts that threaten to take hold of us.  Choose instead to follow Mary's example and focus on what God has done.  Think of His blessings, His mercies that are new every morning. 

May this be our prayer today - May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and Redeemer.  (Psalm 19:14)

Luke 1:46-55

And Mary said: "My soul praises the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior..."

Mary responded to the angel's message with praise.  How do we respond to God's Word?

Luke 1:18

"I am the Lord's servant, " Mary answered.  "May it be to me as you have said."

Sometimes we get so caught up in the busyness of life and serving those around us - our husbands, our children - that we forget that first and foremost we are to serve God.  It is wonderful to serve God within our own homes, but we need to be attentive to His promptings and be willing to follow wherever He leads.

Matthew 5:27-28

"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

For a woman whose husband struggles with lust, the meaning here is pretty obvious.  When a man looks lustfully at another woman, he is seeking pleasure from her that he should only find with his wife.  A continued problem in this area leads the wife to feelings of inferiority - I'm not what he wants, if only I were prettier/thinner/bigger busted...  A wife has the right to be the only person her husband desires.

But this is a two-way street.  What about us as wives?  We tend to think of lust as a male problem, but many women struggle with it as well.  We should not be looking with desire at anyone other than our husbands.  Just as is the case with our husbands, we need to be selective about the books we read and the movies we watch.  Many romance novels are pretty pornographic.  Their purpose is to arouse the reader and ultimately make her unsatisfied with her own life.  Beware of Christian romance novels, too.  While they aren't necessarily bad, the perfect heroes in the book can cause a woman to wish her husband was more like that, and become dissatisfied with her marriage.  Read with caution!

And then there's Hollywood.  Some female relatives and I were recently discussing who should be People magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive"...and then I realized that talking about good-looking movie stars isn't exactly honoring to my husband.  I have a friend who won't watch a certain TV show because she finds the star attractive and doesn't want to be thinking improper thoughts.  Another friend called her husband to pick her up from the theater on a recent girls night out, because her friends had decided to see a movie about male strippers.

Sound extreme?  Ephesians 5:3 tells us that there is not to be "even a hint of sexual immorality".  The next verse says we are to avoid coarse joking.  Sure, mentioning that a particular actor is good-looking doesn't necessarily mean I want to sleep with him, but it is a step in that direction.  I think women often have a double standard - I can say George Clooney is hot, but my husband had better not say the same thing about Catherine Zeta-Jones.  If I'm not comfortable with my husband saying or watching something, I shouldn't be doing a similar thing. 

Avoid lust in any form.  We need to take captive every thought and make them obedient to Christ (II Corinthians 10:5)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Have you thanked God for your husband today?  Have you told your husband you're thankful for him?

Matthew 4:23

...and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed Him.

I've often wondered about the wives of the disciples.  What did they think when their husbands came home and told them they'd found the Messiah?  Did they pack up the family and go with them?  Did they stay and hold down the fort?  Did they fret about how their needs would be met with their husbands not working?  Did they worry about what the neighbors would think?  Did they fear for their safety?

The Scriptures don't tell us.  What they do say is that these men left everything to follow Jesus.  They put Jesus first, and followed Him to death.

We must never stand between our husbands and God's will for them.  If God says go - whether it's to the mission field, to the pulpit, or to stand up against corrupt business practices - we need to support them.  God will take care of the rest. 

Matthew 1:19

Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

This marriage lesson comes from a husband, not a wife, but it's still very applicable to women.  Mary was pregnant, and all Joseph knew for sure was that he was not the father.  I can't imagine the struggle he must have gone through, but it's easy to understand why he had trouble believing her.  After all, her story was literally out of this world.  And so his decision to end their relationship is understandable.  What's notable, though, is what he didn't do.

Joseph refused to make a public spectacle of Mary.  He could have.  By law he could have even had her stoned.  But he chose to keep their private matters private and not cause her further embarassment.

Do we do that?  When our husbands do something wrong, or foolish, or annoying, do we keep quiet about it or do we make it a public issue?  Do we call up our mothers and say "He did it again!"  Do we get together for coffee with a friend and air all of our marital grievances?  Do we post his embarassing moment on Facebook because "it's so funny!"

Before doing any of those things, think about it.  Is it honoring to our husbands?  Is this a story or complaint that needs to be shared?  How would we feel if our husbands talked to their friends about a similar situation? 

Let's follow Joseph's lead and keep such matters to ourselves.  If it is something that needs to be discussed (a serious marital problem or sin issue), choose your confidant carefully, and make sure you're telling them for the right reasons.  Ask for permission before sharing stories.  Our husbands should be honored, respected, and valued.

Matthew 1:1-17

Judah the father of Perez and Zerah, whose mother was Tamar...Salmon the father of Boaz, whose mother was Rahab...Boaz the father of Obed, whose mother was Ruth...David was the father of Solomon, whose mother had been Uriah's wife...and Jacob the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus...

Five women are listed in Matthew's genealogy of Christ.  Tamar slept with her father-in-law in order to obtain the son who, according to their culture, was hers by right.  Rahab was a prostitute.  Ruth was a foreigner, from an ungodly pagan land.  Bathsheba cheated on her husband, Uriah, and was impregnated by King David, who then had Uriah killed.  Mary was a young virgin, with child by the Holy Spirit, but betrothed to Joseph.

What we see here is that Jesus' human family tree was far from perfect.  God chose an unworthy cast of characters through whom He would fulfill His promise. 

Because of Jesus, these women were not defined by their pasts.  Because of Jesus, we are not either.  Whatever mistakes we have made, whatever people say about us, however the world wants to label us - Jesus can set us free. 

Malachi 2:16

"I hate divorce," says the Lord God of Israel...So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.

This passage is about Judah's unfaithfulness to God, but Malachi uses marriage to symbolize the relationship between God and His people.  Once again we see that our marriages are supposed to reflect Christ and His faithfulness and unfailing love. 

Forgiveness and faithfulness are to be at the heart of every marriage.  As we are not perfect people, we cannot have a perfect marriage.  But we can work together to overcome obstacles.  Zechariah 4:6 reminds us that God says it's "Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit."  God knows we can't do it alone, and He doesn't expect us to.  Jesus sent us the Holy Spirit to counsel and comfort us, and it is through Him we can do all things.

Hosea

God instructs Hosea to take a prostitute as his wife, as an illustration of how Israel has been unfaithful Him.  The book of Hosea is a beautiful promise of God's unfailing love for sinners, and the hope we have of redemption through Him.

So many people today are confused as to what marriage is all about.  Some claim it's merely a piece of paper - that they can be committed to each other without making it "official".  Today in Minnesota voters are heading to the polls to define what they think marriage should be.  But I'm afraid we - even within the church - have lost sight of what marriage is intended to be.

Marriage is supposed to be a symbol of Christ's love for the Church (Ephesians 5:22-33).  Our husband's love for us, our submission to and respect of him, our mutual faithfulness and partnership, all should point people to Jesus.

Can the world see Jesus in your marriage?

Song of Solomon 8:7

Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.

Marriage is hard!  There are bills and children and unemployment and sickness and chores and in-laws and car trouble and deadlines and headaches.  Add to that two sinful people - people who are selfish and prideful and lazy and lustful and angry and spiteful and who just cannot hold their tongues.  And love is supposed to be stronger than all of this? 

This is where that third strand in Ecclesiastes 4 is so vitally important.  Can the love of two people withstand the raging waters of life?  Not easily.  But God can.  And He will help those who trust in Him.

Song of Solomon

It is so beautiful that God, in His Word, chooses to show us the tenderness of sexual intimacy within a marriage.  He wants us to know that it is an integral part of the bond between a husband and a wife.  God gave us sex as something to be enjoyed and celebrated.

Ecclesiastes 5:2

Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. 
God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few.

This is not addressed specifically to wives, but I think it's a good thing to remember.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:  If one falls down, his friend can help him up.  But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!  Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.  But how can one keep warm alone?  Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.  A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

It's such a blessing that we don't have to walk this road alone.  The article from yesterday addressed dealing with our husbands' sins.  These verses affirm what the article said - if one falls, the other can pick him up.  We are not to shame our husbands when they fall.  It is our duty, our privilege, to help him back up.  We can admonish and encourage him, help him find the help he needs. 

We are to stand by his side when Satan attacks - though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.  We should never leave our husbands to face these battles alone.  Cover them with prayer!  Remind him of God's promises.  Stand with him in the fight.

And never, ever forget that third strand - God is our Help and our Shield.  He goes into battle with us and before us.  Lean on Him.